im back...

holy cow , im a cow... well the size of one atleast..

i cant seem to stop myself..

like i went to get Quiznos... and then i came home to have soup.

and its ridiculous.

I came home from a tournament.. and I stepped on my scale

and it said i weighed 162 pounds ! i have never seen that number in my life

and then Bamm i realized my scale thing moveddd.

so i twisted it back and right now im at ..... 152

lost...

im so confused. ive totally just lost all control of my eating habits.

its horrible....

i hate myself for this..

ate a lot today...

well not a lot but a lot of bad bad bad things tooo much sugary things

disgusting..

I'm disgusting...
I had a full two and half hour workout pretty much (basketball then soccer)

and i also ate today....

still...150

i cry and ask myself why I cant do this everyday...

i need help.

Good Call

I guess it was a good call making my blog name failure..

because that is pretty much what i am.

I didn't have a terrible day, but I didn't have the best day either.

I hate when I have money at school because i always always always

end up in that damn cafeteria.. >:(

I seriously need more self control !

today's fast worthy (and I mean for tomorrow) consisted of..

Triscut Crackers about... 10 I would say...

then at lunch I had pasta salad.. I don't even know how many calories

were in that, but it was made in the cafe and its not that bad.. atleast i did't finish it.

and I almost got cookies, but called it off at the last minute :) yay me!

then for dinner I had that soup I love but is a whopping 520 calories, with a bit of iced tea...so bout 100cals..? i dont really know its all sugar water so it can't be good.

and my sweet tooth got me again.. I had a peanut butter and honey sandwich.. and a glass of skim..

I wish I lived on my own sometimes because then I could only buy good food.

but my parents don't always buy the best stuff, I mean there not out of shape, but they

buy the bad stuff for me, and then I feel bad if i dont eat it cause it feels like a waste.

I did not go to basketball Practice today :(

I really wish I had enough time to go to the gym, because even though im playing some sort of sport almost everyday of the week, It's just not really helping me. I wanna be toned, and thin and the gym can do that, but i mean.. I dont have time. UGH..

and tonights weigh in... 150

ps. I fail.

quick blog

I ate today.. >:(

Had Granola and Yogurt.. the Yogurt was fat free but whatever..

then had soup potatoe and cheese.. how healthy.. but veryy good but very salty too . kinda gross

then i came home and had a sandwich cheese and lettuce on brown..

then had Sushi... miso soup tuna roll, yam roll..

and then i had a peanut butter and honey (on brown) but still theres that damn sweet tooth again :(

uhm.... tonights weigh in is 148 it looks like.. but ill wake up tomorrow at 145.. then eat and go back up to 150... mabes a fast weekend coming on? I think so...

Oh I also had a basketball game we won :)

it was a good bit of runningg..

tear

why do I keep eating.. I was doing so good today. Didn't eat all day..

then after school I had one 360 calorie meal...

it was healthy too , just a veggie sandwich with orange juicee ..

I think I need to go vegan rather then just being a vegetarian that would save me from really fatty foods.

but alas, I cannot I need the protein I can get so i can still play my lovely sports :(

then coming home after hour and half of runningggg.

i came home and ate, and I told myself I would just have an

egg, I didn't I had a large plate of pasta and then icecream ..

I have such a bad sweet tooth..

i really need more fruits and veggies in my house

i crave them so much, and we never have them... :(

pretty much all the excersise was a waste..

and I know I shouldnt be eating what I do .

I actually sit there and stare at it, but i just keep

eating it, I actually have no control at all .

i also hate that when I wake up in the morning..

Im 145 and when i keep eating all day, i end up at 150..

i HATE 150 ITS SO UGLY..

i need to get through this..

i wish i had someone to help me..

i never feel like just playing sports is enough

but with school work and the gym i have no time to excersise..

i end tonight at 150

Horrribbleee Day

Today I thought I was doing good, but then I had cheese and crackers..
I don't even know what that equals out too .

1070 caloriee meal from Mcdonalds ewe

520 calorie soup :(

oh and icecreamm ... with chocolate sauceee
ohdear...

My weight right now ... 150

thankgod i have soccer thursday sunday
Basketball Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thusday
lots of excersise hopefully good eating..
I just find it really hard to fast during school... i hate when people hear my stomach growl.